To: undisclosed recipients
Sent: Mon, 24 Oct 2005 17:38:34 -0700
Subject: RE: About Margreet...
First the short version. She's just had her biopsy and everything went well. Before, on the way to the operation, she was carried on her bed, pulled very fast by a nurse who was teaching 5 young girls about the nursing profession. She was moving pretty fast through the halls, which have some little bumps on the floor every so often and was making many turns. She said out loud "Gee, I feel like I'm in a roller coaster!" and all the girls began to giggle behind her. "Well, this is a fine sight to begging an operation, a flying nurse ahead and a bunch of giggling girls behind" she thought to herself. Then just before the operation she asked the surgeon, Dr Rutten, if he had a steady hand. He said "pretty steady", so she said "OK, go ahead", and there they went.
He had told her that he would have to go through the speech and memory areas of her brain in order to get to her bad part. When she woke up the first thing she asked the nurse was if the baby had arrived. Then she thought "I can speak and I remember! That means they didn't mess that up!". Dr Rutten came later and told her that they were able to take 6 samples from the tumor and around that area, which apparently is very good news because they can make more precise diagnosis with this additional information.
So... the first stage for Margreet is done and everything went well. She told me "From a case where the tumor was too deep to even get a biopsy to one where they got 6 sample... I think that's progress!" Scratch that little square as OK.
Now for the long version... I just had a most wonderful experience. As part of her preparation for this operation Margreet made me promise that I would do some long distance healing touch on her while listening to the "Angel Love" by Aeoliah CD, which is the music she always used when she was doing healing touch back in the US. So, after leaving her this afternoon with the 5 girls and fast nurse, and were preparing her for surgery, I went back to the house with plans to go up to the attic bedroom where we stay when babysitting Arianna. The cleaning lady and her partner were busy vacuuming and wiping stuff off. Marcia was waddling around and trying to rest from time to time, (she warned me that she may be coming up there to the attic bedroom also to get away from the cleaning lady commotion). Douwe was working at the shop and Peter (Marcias Dad) was busy working on the little house at the back getting it ready for us to live in.
First I visualized Margreet being surrounded by angels preparing her for the operation. This was induced by me, since I knew that was what was happening when I left. Then, as the music changed, I imagined her in the operating room, with all the doctors and technicians surrounding her, busy doing what they do, and all of them surrounded by many angels, with their arms extended so they formed something like a tent, with a bright white light coming from the center, where Margreet was on
Then there was a commotion in the bedroom and I paused the CD. It was Marcia, coming into the room, carrying several pillows under her arms. "I'm going to try to rest", she said. She laid next to me on the bed, with pillows between her legs and under her belly and covered with a comforter since it was a bit cold. She asked me how it was going. I told here her mom was doing well, well taken care of, surrounded by angels. She smiled and closed her eyes to try to go to sleep. I went back to the music.
After centering again, I saw Margreet, with all sorts of activities going on around her and the angels still surrounding her and bathing her with the light. I seemed to be aware that she was in good care. But I was also aware of Marcia laying next to me getting ready to give birth to a baby. From time to time she would give out a soft moan indicating that she was having one of her periodic mild contractions that she's been having for some time now. All this time the music was still going on. At one point I 'saw' something like 'tendrils', like roots, extending from Margreet to Marcia. I was realizing the connections between these two women and their precarious situation. So then I thought, "Common Margreet, you're not needed here" (in the surgery room) "Let the angels do their thing" and I extended my hand to her, which she grabbed. We flew a short distance to the house and landed on the bed and I said to her "Here's your daughter. You can help her." Then I felt this "bubble" of warm, soft, wonderful love emanating from her and enveloping us all. I had a great sense of security, peace and warmth. It went on like that for a while. It occurred to me that this was a sort of mystic connection, and it was beautiful. Then I saw another envelope/bubble join the one we were in and it was Douwe, still working at the shop. Then Arianna came into view who was at the daycare center. Then Peter, who was working at the little house, came with his bubble. Each adding to this most wonderful feeling I was experiencing. Warmth, security, peace, Love. Then the music stopped.
Tears of joy were streaming out of my closed eyes. A great sense of tranquility, which I hadn't felt for a long time, surrounded me.
Then the next piece of music started. I tried to maintain that glow I was feeling and let the music take me where it would. It seems that whenever a new instrument came into play, or the tempo changed, it would direct my thoughts in new direction or would introduce a new character into the narrative, so that IT was actually guiding me in the visualization. I remained in this vicinity of that "family" mellow feeling for some while. Then the phone rang. It was Douwe inquiring how Marcia was doing.
After getting back to the music, at some point something reminded me of a conversation we'd just had with Ria, before going into the operation. Ria is a new friend of Margreet. Her roommate at the hospital, who is recovering form a benign brain tumor operation, with an amazing story of her own. But what popped up in my mind was what she had said about wishing us good health and a good recovery, not ONLY for Margreet, but me, and Marcia and her husband and daughter, and the new baby, and every one else involved. She had included the whole extended family.
So, in my visualization, the warm, bright, cozy bubble began to extend beyond where it was. First there was a 'growth' of light going toward our friends who had given us their house to use while we were waiting for the hospital, then another 'arm' of light went to the people who came to help to build the little house in the back, and then our family and friends who'd been sending us their good wishes and prayers that helped Margreet keep her spirits up.
Now, remember, I wasn't 'thinking' these things out. I wasn't remembering who did what for us. As the music changed in tempo and mood, and instruments came in and out, new images came up and these 'arms' of light reaching to these people who'd helped us in some way. I'm sure I'm not explaining it very well. It's like a dream I had, and much of the exquisite beauty that I saw is missing, but I hope you get the 'jest' of it.
At one point a stream of light reached over the Atlantic and reached the East Coast and enveloped my family there, then it continued west and it enveloped our family and friends there. At one point there were some very beautiful chimes ringing and Rena popped out, Margreets niece, who has a very special place in Margreet's heart. Then the light reached Monica in San Diego, who at that very moment was on her knees with Otto her husband praying to Jesus for Margreets recovery, as Margreet had asked me the day before to call her and request her to do a prayer for her at the time of her operation (although I don't think she realized the time in SD would be 5 am) And then the light extended to many different points on the coast and the middle of the land where our friends have been sending their prayers and thoughts for her good health, forming this huge "bubble" of light... and at that point the music ended. It couldn't have been better if it had been choreographed by some first class stage designer. I sat there, quietly enjoying the feeling, with tears of joy streaming down my face.
Then Marcia got up and said that she was going to lay down on her own bed, now that the cleaning people had left. As she was going out of the room my phone rang. It was the doctor telling me that the operation had gone well and Margreet was doing fine. She could wake up in about an hour so I could visit her then. I passed the message to Marcia so she was re leaved by the news and she went downstairs.
I sat there all mooshy from the experience, enjoying the after glow of the images. Then I remembered what I had read in the Bible before starting this session of meditation. I don't 'study' the Bible. It seems to me that 'studying' the Bible allows the Ego, the crazy part of our mind, to pick and choose what to apply at any moment and thus rationalize the most attrotious actions in the name of God. That's the only way I can ex playing how some people have used the Bible to commit the most un-Christian acts in the name of Jesus. So, what I do is use it as an oracle. That is, to use the Bible to obtain specific answers at a specific time. I close my eyes and twirl the book around in many different ways (to foil the Ego's preference for the New Testament at the end of the book), then place my finger on a page, with my eyes still closed, and then read the verse where my finger was placed. What I got this time, before I started the visualization, was a line that read something like "I am the God in you.". Unfortunatelly, I forgot to write the book and verse of the line where my finger landed, but as I sat there it came to me what that line meant. All these people who showed up in my mind had been doing acts of kindness out of their hearts. Whatever they were able to to help Margreet. So I understand what Margreet calls "angels". These are people who do selfless acts of kindness to others (in this case towards her) These are people who are expressing the "I am the God in you." that I read in my Bible inquiry. That is all of you who have helped her in one way or another, and have created this "bubble" of light that surrounds us.
And it's working. It makes no difference if you are a Christian or Muslim or Bahai or atheist. As long as you are working with integrity to yourself, the "I am the God in you.", you are doing His work. And it's working! I'm certain she will survive this ordeal. And it will be a miracle, becouse 'science' tells us she only has 3 to 6 months to live. But she will do better. Time will tell.
AND... to crown this story... RYAN has arrived!!!! He's a beautiful
So, for now, FEEL the love and DO random acts of kindness BECOUSE it FEELS good! Go ahead and be a selfish bastard, do good because if FEELS good.
This is it for now. I got to get some sleep.
Ok, I know you guys have been waiting for this:
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